July 26th marked my grandparents' 60th wedding anniversary. Their story may not seem that special to many people. Heck, it is not unlike other stories out there. They fell in love, got married, had kids, built a home together, stuck it out through the good and the bad, and outlasted the statistics. Their relationship, however, is very special to me. I’ve experienced their love since I was very young, and their expressions of devotion were always a representation of what marriage was. Whether I realized this influence at the time is questionable. I just know that I always felt safe, loved, and cherished in their presence, and I knew that they loved each other.
I’ve often heard or read about other couples celebrating this marital accomplishment through church newsletters or morning shows or newspaper articles, and I must admit that I haven’t given their anniversaries much attention or credit. And now I ask myself, “Why?” Do I have to experience things personally to appreciate their significance? Maybe. But as I’m reflecting on this anniversary, I feel so grateful and blessed to have this couple in my life. The fact that they have been married for sixty years is inspirational to me.
My husband and I just celebrated our tenth year on the same day. We were married on my grandparents’ golden anniversary. I can remember the minister talking to us about how lucky we were to have such a wonderful example of marriage in our lives. And we have always strived to make our relationship work. There have been times that I have wondered if things were going to be okay in our marriage. I’ve stayed up nights crying myself to sleep or being so angry at my Matt that I could scream. And I know he has experienced those same feelings. However, there have been many more times that we have been completely happy and content. I know that most of my relationship has been spent smiling and laughing and quietly knowing that all was okay and right.
Don’t get me wrong; I know that not all marriages work. I’m not naïve to the dangers of love. I’ve experienced the pain and suffering of many of my friends who have had to make the decision to let a marriage go. That the relationship wasn’t right and was only bringing more pain and unhappiness to all involved.
But in knowing the realities of marriage and its varied outcomes, lies the true gift of my grandparents’ marriage to my life. Seeing them and experiencing their marital happiness and longevity has shown me that it is possible. You can be with someone for sixty years and make it work. Through good and bad, that choice is attainable. And it may not be the fairytale story that most expect. It takes work and tears and laughter and selflessness. But through the process you realize that it is better than the fairytale.
My grandparents’ story is slowly becoming my story, and I’m so very thankful for their example and the experiences their relationship has given to me.
Happy Anniversary, Neanie and Papaul! I love you!
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